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Epic Insult

November 15, 2012 by Shanna Hatfield

 

Tuesday I blogged about a silly gift I put together for my friend’s 40th birthday.

What I didn’t share with you is the trauma I experienced buying the candles for her cake.

It never fails that I will find the one chatty checker at the store. Captain Cavedweller can get in line and no one will say a word to him other than “did you find what you were looking for” and “thanks, have a nice day.”

Me, in the time it takes for the checker to ring up and  bag my purchases, I can know how many kids they have, why their brother is in jail, the last time their car was serviced and how they like their bread toasted.

The day I was buying my BFF’s candles, I stood smiling at the checker who would not stop talking about her washer and dryer, her kids aptitude for creating dirty laundry and why she wished her neighbors would bring back something they borrowed.

Nodding my head, only half-listening, she asked me about some of the gifts I was buying for BFF. I told her my friend was turning 40 and I was putting together a gift for her.

Without missing a beat, she picked up the “40” candles, looked at them, looked at me and asked, “So, are these for your daughter?”

I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped open. It is possible I even swallowed my gum.

I don’t know that I have ever been so insulted.

As in Epic Insult.

Sure I misheard what she asked, I couldn’t quite bring myself to have her repeat it. Apparently, from the time I got out of bed and ran to the store to the time I stood in her check-out line, I’d aged 20 years!

Finally able to speak, I shook my head. “No, they are for my friend.”

“Oh,” the checker said, then went on rambling about something else.

Fuming, I managed to contain my desire to slap some sense into the woman and thanked her as I piled bags in my cart and trudged out the door. I barely arrived home when Captain Cavedweller called to see how my day was going.

He got an ear-full about the checker which made him laugh so hard, I thought he might actually rupture something.

Since that wasn’t bad enough, he proceeded to tell several people at work who also thought it was hilarious.

I’m still living that whole thing down.

And I haven’t been back to the store since, either.

She Who Is Aging Rapidly

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The Christmas Bargain

November 14, 2012 by Shanna Hatfield

Please forgive my shameless self-promotion today, but…

 

The Christmas Bargain is now available for your reading pleasure!

I hope you’ll check it out and enjoy a little holiday romance set in a time period that I absolutely love!

You can find it on:

Kindle

Barnes & Noble

Smashwords

It will be available in paperback in a few days, so stay tuned!

The Christmas Bargain is quickly becoming near and dear to my heart. I love characters and the fact that this is my first attempt at writing historical fiction probably helps, too.

Set in the once booming town of Hardman, Oregon (now a ghost town), this Victorian romance has a big Victorian house, beautiful gowns, a handsome hero and of course a bad guy or two.

Here is the book description:

Luke Granger is about to get more than he bargained for…

As owner and manager of the Hardman bank, Luke Granger is a man of responsibility and integrity in the small 1890s Eastern Oregon town. Calling in a long overdue loan, Luke finds himself reluctantly accepting a bargain in lieu of payment from the shiftless farmer who barters his daughter to settle his debt.

Philamena Booth is both mortified and relieved when her father sends her off with the banker as payment of his debt. Held captive on the farm by her father since the death of her mother more than a decade earlier, Philamena is grateful to leave. If only it had been someone other than the handsome and charismatic Luke Granger riding in to rescue her. Ready to uphold her end of the bargain as Luke’s cook and housekeeper, Philamena is prepared for the hard work ahead. What she isn’t prepared for is being forced to marry Luke as part of this crazy Christmas bargain.

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Celebrating Milestones

November 13, 2012 by Shanna Hatfield

 

A few weeks ago, a very dear friend turned 40.

As in the Big Four-Oh.

As in over-the-hill.

As in the best years of her life are behind her.

As in, she’s still younger than me…

I digress.

Anyhoooo…

I wanted to do something to let her know I thought her milestone birthday was pretty special.

So I bought her a bunch of junk, wrapped it up with lots of tape and disguised it in a beautiful box!

How’s that for being a great friend?

Seriously, though, this is a fun way to mark a milestone birthday.

I did something similar when my dad turned 70 and he thought it was awesome.

You can do this with any milestone birthday. Just set your budget, shop accordingly and have fun.

What you do is come up with a gift for each year of life the person is celebrating. In my BFF’s case, I needed 40 presents.

No problemo!

I got her super fun stuff like Silly Putty.

 

A fall table runner I knew she’d like.

 

A beach calendar so we can both fantasize about being somewhere warm and tropical and that the trip there would magically make us bronzed, thin and twenty years younger.

 

Pumpkin Spice tea- because it is one of the best things you can drink on a cold autumn day.

 

I even put in some sayings I knew would speak to her heart.

 

My point is that you don’t have to spend a fortune on the gifts, just find things you know the recipient will enjoy, laugh at, or appreciate.

Once you have assembled the necessary number of gifts, count them again, just to be sure. Then wrap each one individually. Yes, this will take a little time, but the look on their face when they get their gift is priceless!

 

Forty gifts wrapped and ready to give. To keep the excitement going, I piled all these into one big box, then wrapped it to look like the actual gift.

Ta da! How cool is that?

 

Try this out with someone who is celebrating a milestone. It is guaranteed to make them smile and let them know who much you care.

She Who Has Way Too Much Fun with this Stuff

 

 

 

 

Posted in Entertaining Ideas, Musings, Party Theme | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments »

A Monday List

November 12, 2012 by Shanna Hatfield

See that cute little girl sneezing with a pile of tissues. If you took out the cute and little girl part and inserted annoyed, chocolate-eating, mid-aged freakazoid, the picture would look exactly like I did last week!

Captain Cavedweller and I went to a book signing the weekend before last. The morning we were ready to leave, I woke up sick. With a cold. No big deal.

Until I woke up really sick the morning of the book signing, five hours from home and on the schedule for an eight-hour event.

Being the great guy that he is, Captain Cavedweller washed his hands 49 times, ran across the street from the hotel to Wally-world and got me a box of tissues and a three month supply of cold medicine.

Doped up, we headed off to the book signing.

The day was somewhat of a blur for me – as is the trip home and most of last week.

But I did learn a few things:

1. When doped up on cold meds, you may be inclined to do things you would not normally do when all your mental faculties are functioning properly.

2. You really can smile until your cheeks hurt.

3. It is nearly impossible for someone prone to sneezing when they are sick to not sneeze.

4. There really is a huge difference in the softness of some tissues.

5. Apparently some illnesses can greatly alter your ability to taste.

6. Saltine crackers left opened in a drawer at the office for goodness only knows how long will taste like varnish when you are in the midst of a wicked cold.

7. The taste of varnished crackers will linger in your mouth for approximately two and a half days, until you burn your taste buds off with a cup of tea that is way too hot.

8. You can really hear yourself think when your ears are so plugged no outside sound will penetrate.

9. After you’ve lost the ability to think, taste and hear, it only stands to reason smell will be next to go.

10. There is nothing pretty about an annoyed, chocolate-eating, mid-aged freakazoid with a bad cold.

She Who is Glad to be On the Mend

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