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Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

It’s a day of shameless self-promotion on Savvy Entertaining today.

If you enjoy humor, especially in a rural setting, you might like my latest book – Farm Girl!

As a Father’s Day surprise for my dad, I decided to write down a collection of humorous stories based on events from my childhood on the farm.

Farm Girl

Farm Girl Cover

What happens when a farmer who’s been wishing for a boy ends up with a girlie-girl?

Come along on the humorous and sometimes agonizing adventures from a childhood spent on a farm in the Eastern Oregon desert where one family raised hay, wheat, cattle, and a farm girl.

 

Kindle

Amazon

Excerpt:

“Let’s see you whip Rocket into shape,” Hayes said, stepping back and nodding his head to Hank.
Hank pulled his hat down on his head, tugged on his gloves, and gave one last look around, like he hoped divine intervention would keep him from riding to his death.
Motioning for Marcy to keep the kids at a safe distance away, Hayes waited until Hank had his left foot in the stirrup and was swinging his right leg over the back of the horse before he gave Rocket a firm smack on the hindquarters.
The show the horse and rider put on for eager spectators could have packed a full house. Although completely unrehearsed and not choreographed in any way, the intricate steps and mind-blowing moves were previously unseen in our hemisphere and most likely won’t be again.
Rocket, who appeared to have every intention of living up to his name, shot straight up in the air so high, our heads craned back to keep from missing any of the spectacular exhibition.
On his way back down to earth, the horse went through a series of dance moves that included the foxtrot, tango, and the hokey-pokey.

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Just Focus!

The other night I had the pleasure to be in a lovely home, set out on the edge of civilization, with the woods literally running right up to the backyard. The living room had wrap-around windows that flanked both the front and one entire side of the room, providing a grand view of the beautiful lawn below and to the side of the house.

I was just getting rolling with a product demonstration for EAH and was knee-deep in my spiel of entertaining ideas and tips when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. Looking out one of the side windows, I watched a partially-grown fawn wander into the yard, nibbling at grass and greenery as it went, acting like it did that everyday, which it probably does.

Since all the nice ladies in the room were facing me with their backs to the window, none of them were aware that Bambi had traipsed into our midst and was creating a complete distraction for my already weary brain.

I forgot my spiel (which I’ve given no less than 1,286 times in the last four years) and was having trouble even remembering my name.

Bambi was so cute. So adorable. So attention-grabbing.

Instead of pointing out the sweet little deer munching away at the outdoor herbiferous smorgasbord provided  by the hostess, I gave myself a quick mental scolding of “Just Focus! Focus! Focus!” grabbed my unraveling thoughts and attempted to tie them back together. I’m fairly certain those nice ladies may think I’m a bit of a scatter-brained nut-job. But what was a girl to do? Could you ignore this cute little face?

Does anyone else ever have this problem? Do you ever need a reminder to “Just Focus!” I’d love to hear your stories!

Shanna

(a.k.a.  the scatter-brained nut-job)

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You’re The Chicken

The other day, Most Wonderful Hubby and I were in the car running some errands. Since I was driving (driver gets to choose) we were listening to a cd that happens to be a favorite of mine.

I was listening to the music, driving along, enjoying the afternoon, when all of the sudden Hubby says “That is the stupidest song I’ve ever heard. Who’d write a song called ‘You’re the Chicken?'”

After laughing so hard I almost ran into a parked car, I told him the name of the song was “You’re The Ticket.”

“Oh,” Hubby said, looking a bit sheepish. “Well, that makes a little more sense.”

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to listen to the song again without picturing a chicken and laughing. Methinks I’m not the only one who should be wearing a hearing aid…

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The Heinous Cat

Drooley (aka) The Heinous Cat

About six years ago, a very odd cat wandered into our yard, infiltrated the ranks and convinced my Most Wonderful Hubby to adopt him.

At first, I felt sorry for the pathetic little cat. How could you not? He has an extreme glandular problem that causes him to drench not only himself but the unfortunate person petting him with rivers of slobbers anytime his motor starts to purr. Hence the name Drooley. In addition to this little hang up, he gives all new meaning to the phrase “Scaredy Cat.” I’m pretty sure if you look in the dictionary, you’ll find his picture there next to the definition. Most of our family and friends have never met Drooley because he is terrified of human beings, dogs, other cats, birds, butterflies, bugs, most anything that breaths and many objects that don’t including leaves, flowers and individual blades of grass.

Because of his dripping saliva problem, he is an outdoor cat that spends the majority of his time plotting how to get in the house. The rest of his free time is devoted to thinking up ways to bring added excitement to my day. That is why he has gone through the gamut of names such as “Stupid Cat,” “Annoying Cat,” “That Awful Cat,” and most recently “The Heinous Cat.”

He earned that particular title just the other day. Unable to sleep, I decided to get an early start on my appointment with the treadmill and headed out to our backroom where we keep the barely used exercise equipment. The Heinous Cat was on the patio acting like something had frightened  him half to death, which by the end of the debacle, I was wishing it would have finished the job.  Taking pity on him, I let him come in the backroom with me while I walked.

Behaving strange, even for him, I didn’t give it a lot of thought until I looked over and saw the cat was attempting to hack a fur ball. I jumped off the treadmill hollering and shooshing, but not soon enough.  It wasn’t pretty.  Neither was the spectacle I made running around the backyard with a tiny flashlight trying to locate the shovel. Gosh, it was dark that morning. (By the way, certain matter on carpet does not shovel well at all.)  After I finally finished cleaning up the mess, there sat the cat on the patio, looking quite pleased with himself as he tried to sneak in the back door. I really needed another reminder of all the reasons I am a dog person.

Most Wonderful Hubby managed to sleep through not only the entire incident, but the back door slamming, my stomping and the bathroom door slamming. By the time I was out of the shower and Hubby was up, I  informed him he and the cat were both fortunate that I was beginning to see a bit of humor in the entire situation otherwise The Heinous Cat would be  sitting out front with his furry little posterior super-glued to the road waiting for a truck to drive by. I think the cat must have overheard that comment. The Heinous Cat has managed to stay out of my way since the incident. We’ll see how long it lasts.

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