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Posts Tagged ‘Humor Blog’

About a year and a half ago, Captain Cavedweller and I started talking about getting a new vehicle.

We knew my old red pickup (purchased brand new in 1992) was in dire need of retirement, although it still ran well and served its purpose of being a second vehicle.

Bracing ourselves for the experience of car shopping, we put that on hold when we found out we had to have our entire septic system replaced. Seven months later, we’d spent roughly the same amount if not more on the septic system than we would have on a new vehicle. Watching them bury all the septic equipment was like watching our dreams for a new car being buried in the wasteland that has become our backyard.

crash 1

Then just a month after the septic drama ended, our poor Red Pickup met an untimely death at the hands of a texting teen driving a tractor.

We limped along short one vehicle for a few months trying to decide if we wanted to buy a brand new vehicle and retire my car to second vehicle status or if we wanted to buy something used to replace the red pickup.

When my folks moved to town from the farm just before Christmas, it just so happened Dad decided he had one too many vehicles and wanted to sell his pickup. We jumped at the opportunity to buy it as a replacement for old red (and actually, it turned out to be quite a nice upgrade!).

Then, as my car rolled over 130,000 miles a few weeks ago, we decided we really needed (okay – wanted) to get a new vehicle.

Mentally prepared to deal with car salesmen, we visited a variety of lots, checking out a number of vehicles. Most could quickly be eliminated as soon as CC sat in the driver’s seat. If his head brushed the roof, his shoulders didn’t fit in the seat or the steering column bumped his knees – it was off the list.

Finally, we narrowed it down to a handful we wanted to test drive. Two of the car salesmen made fun of us for not having smart phones (not a great way to make me want to spend thousands of dollars with you, by the way).  One car salesman seemed terrified of CC and would only talk to me (again, not good for gaining our business) while another talked to CC like I wasn’t there. There were also the annoying salesmen who lied to us, stalked us on the phone and the final straw that broke the camel’s back was the one who was so rude, I would never, ever do business with him.

By this time, we had decided what vehicle we wanted, just not where to get it. I went online and did my research which resulted in finding exactly the model we wanted just four hours drive away – at a price none of the other dealers could match.

So we made the drive, worked with a salesman who was both courteous and professional (can you believe it?) and had a great experience trading in my car to bring home our new Jeep Compass.

jeep

Since we had to drive home through a snow storm, we got to test out a lot of the great features on the rig, although I have to admit my favorite were the seat warmers!

She Who is Loving the New Jeep

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1. While on vacation, we went to a museum that showed how whale boning (which is actually baleen from a Baleen whale’s teeth) was used to provide the rigid structure in a corset. Between the front boning and the back lacing, a corset looked exactly like some old-fashioned, and quite often elegant, torture device for women.

2. I am so lucky to have been born long, long after corsets were commonly worn. This girl would not have done well laced into that contraption.

3. Car salesmen, no matter what city you are in, seem to share a lot in common.

4. When left with few options, lunch at Costco can be a tasty and popular choice.

5. Leaving doors open to your vacation rental on a warm afternoon is, apparently, an open invitation for wildlife to waltz right in.

6. Skylights in said vacation rental are the perfect place for uninvited birds to try to escape back outside.

7. Smart vacation rental owners leave ladders available for stupid renters who inadvertently let birds in the rental and have to retrieve them from 18-foot tall skylights.

8. Pie can be a great breakfast food.

9. The super-sized marshmallows burn just as fast as the regular sized marshmallows. Only the insides take longer to become molten under the charred outer crust.

10. I would not have made it as an adventurer with Lewis & Clark. Nope. Not at all.

She Who Is a Homebody

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Yesterday was my birthday.

According to Captain Cavedweller I’m somewhere between “over the hill and not quite as old as dirt.”

Whatever…

Between email messages, facebook posts, cards, calls and gifts  – you all made me feel very loved! Thank you!

Despite his teasing about my age, CC did do a great job making me feel special.

First he sent me these at work:

Then when I got home, he gave me several gifts.

He knows I have a thing for antique dishes and roses. The  combination of the two is nearly lethal to my system:

Aren’t these gorgeous!

And this…

I think part of my heart is still melted in a puddle on the living room carpet.

I absolutely love this watch! The silver pattern on the band is barbed wire and then there are the stars around the watch face. Love!

Thanks to all who made my birthday so wonderful and amazing. You are so appreciated!

She Who Feels Very, Very Blessed

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“You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen.  But if you are beautiful at sixty, it will be your soul’s own doing.” 

~Marie Stopes

I read this quote and it really got me thinking about youthful beauty compared to that of later years.

I see beautiful older women who radiate loveliness from the inside out. I want to look like that when I’m 60. My Aunt Robbie is one of those who just gets more beautiful with age, and she is almost 80! I used to think beautiful old people just happened, like some magical transformation.  I now know better.

When I was 16, I thought I was homely, fat and about as far from beautiful as a girl could get. What I wouldn’t give now to look as I did at 16! That was before chicken pox scars, before too many recipes made with butter, before (gulp) middle age started settling in.

Why didn’t anyone tell me how traumatic it was going to be to hit 40? Things you take for granted and have become completely used to just being have suddenly turned on you overnight. Gravity has become an enemy, every single thing you eat shows up not only on your scale, but also in the tone and texture of your skin, and wrinkles… oh, I won’t even get started on wrinkles. Or gray hair.

And for goodness sakes, why didn’t someone warn me about the need to be slathered in lotion a couple times of day in an effort to fight off the awful effects of aging skin? If I put on anymore at bedtime, I might slide right off the sheets.

I’ve come to the conclusion that being outwardly beautiful in middle age or older is a lot of hard work. You can’t just coast along hoping things will go well. You’ve got to dig trenches, arm yourself for battle and charge headlong into the war! It isn’t a fight for the weary or faint-hearted.

It takes fortitude!

It takes strength!

It takes patience!

Which is why I might just go sit a while and think about my game plan while eating some chocolate truffles. Maybe I’ll work on ways to enhance that inward beauty while I’m at it.

She Who Is Not Loving Her Wrinkles Today

 

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