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Posts Tagged ‘Blog humor’

The other night, Captain Cavedweller and I went out for dinner. After placing our orders, I ran into the restroom to wash my hands only to find a little blond-haired pixie, who couldn’t have been more than 5, standing on her tiptoes splashing in the sink.

She eyed me when I came in and continued flailing water around the sink. Finally, she stretched up and turned off the faucet, pulled out a wad of paper towels and played at drying her hands.

Continuing to keep an eye on me she finally threw her towels in the garbage, put her tiny hands on her hips and gave me a once over.

“You got any bucks?” she asked.

Completely convinced I misheard her, I begged her pardon.

Apparently no one has ever done that before, because she looked at me in confusion.

“I’m sorry,” I said, leaning down  toward her. “I didn’t hear what you said.”

“You got any bucks? You know, money,” the little imp said.

“No, I don’t have any money,” I said, telling the truth since my purse was safely tucked away at the table with CC.

“Are you sure? You better check your pockets,” she said, taking a step forward.

Fearful she might decide to check my pockets for me, I showed her all they contained was some lint.

“Where’s your bucks?” she asked, growing concerned by the fact I didn’t even have a dime on me.

“Back at my table,” I said, wondering what type of parent turned this little robber baron loose in the restroom let alone hadn’t taught her any manners.

“Oh,” she said, then sashayed out the door.

With a sigh of relief that my interrogation had ended, I walked back to our table and informed CC that all the precocious child needed was a boy named Clyde and a get-away tricycle.

She Who Hasn’t Got Any Bucks in Her Pockets

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I learned some things this weekend I feel compelled to share with you today. I’m sure you’ll be thrilled!

1. Rice Krispies Treats can be fashioned into a variety of interesting shapes, including a three-tiered cake.

2. Fruit Roll-Ups can be fashioned into ribbons, bows and rosettes.

3. When you have greasy fingers from Rice Krispies Treats, do not attempt to do anything with Fruit Roll-Ups other than eat them.

4. Rain storms wait for no man – or bridal shower. Approximately 3.2 minutes after everyone is settled outside to enjoy the celebration to honor the bride-to-be, the skies will open up and pour down buckets of rain, effectively putting a damper on things. Or at least dampening things… and people… and gifts… and food. You get the idea.

5. Approximately 3.2 minutes after you get home from said shower, soggy and cold, the sun will come out and it will feel like summer outside.

6. A little rain can’t stop true love. (Congrats Erik and Katie!)

7. If it even remotely looks like it might be raining while we are out after dark, Captain Cavedweller thinks I should serve as his personal chauffeur.

She Who Is Glad to See Sunshine this Morning

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Saturday, Captain Cavedweller and I did something I promised I’d never do again – held a yard sale.

I hate them. Loathe them. Have nightmares about them.

But due to the backyard project that I’ll blog about soon, we had to tear down one of our storage sheds and we have 18 years of useless treasures that needed to be sorted through and disposed of.

A yard sale seemed like the best way to make a dent in all that…. stuff disappearing.

So while CC made breakfast and then lunch, I sat outside and waited for shoppers, read a book, got really sunburned and reminded myself to never again hold another yard sale.

We live out in the country. We don’t get a  lot of drive-by traffic. And for whatever reason, I could not convince CC to go stand down at the corner of the highway and hold a big sign advertising our sale. What’s up with that, anyway.

So while I sat pouting and burning my fair skin to a crisp, CC pointed out a lovely butterfly who seemed to be quite taken with our blooming pinks. I ran in the house and grabbed my camera, attempting for about twenty minutes to get a shot of it not moving.

Finally, it held mostly still.

I can relate to that butterfly. Sometimes I flit around, don’t want bothered, just want to do my thing.

But I’m really glad it settled down long enough to snap a quick photo!

She Who Needs To Just Relax

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Captain Cavedweller and I ran away for the weekend to a big city. It was wonderful and special and just what we needed after a particularly challenging week.

1. In the city, the sight of people playing music on street corners never ceases to make me think that I’d never have the chutzpa to do such a thing – even if I had any marketable musical talent.

2. In the city, they have things like multi-level shopping malls, where yours truly sighs in bliss before frantically trying to hit as many stores as possible in a very brief amount of time.

3. In the city, we get to eat at one of our favorite restaurants and I devour their chicken marsala and chocolate mousse cake with glee.

4. In the city, we strolled around the park, watched the water rushing from the spring run-off down the river and your truly wished she had packed a coat. That spray-filled air was cold. Bitingly so.

5. In the city, we stayed at a hotel across the parking lot from a mall. It made me sigh in bliss again as I ran from the hotel across the parking lot, dragging CC along for the ride.

6. In the city, CC got to spend an hour or so wandering his favorite store left alone by me. I took my Kindle and sat reading in front of a display of wild animals. I hope the grizzly bear fully enjoyed the romance novel I was reading.

7. In the city, CC stopped to get hot, fresh doughnuts that made the trip home somewhat challenging with the smell of maple bars filling the car.

8. At home, piles of laundry waited, hungry cats meowed at the back door, the mess in our backyard hadn’t magically disappeared and we momentarily considered running away again.

She Who Enjoys a Good Escape

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