Posts Tagged ‘The Heinous Cat’

The weather in our neck of the woods is miserable – cold, drizzly, freezing rain, fog.

It has caused the fuzzy little felines at our house to act even more abnormal than usual.

Miss Maizy (see photo above) comes charging out to the front yard as soon as she hears our car pull in the driveway. She barricades the front door, refusing to let us in, and loudly lets it be known that she is

1. starving to death

2. freezing to death

3. annoyed that we have let the above situations occur

Drooley, aka The Heinous Cat, does not voice his displeasure with us. He is much more subtle with his complaints.

It starts with a cold, steely glare in the kitchen window. If we ignore that, he moves to the patio door where he sits staring at us with narrowed eyes and twitching what remains of his left ear. He will then curl up in a sad little ball and pretend he is going to freeze to the door mat. At this point, Captain Cavedweller will take pity on him and open the door to pet him. Seeing an opportunity to escape into warmth, the cat will race on and plop himself down on the rug by CC’s chair. Flopping onto his side, he waits for the head and tummy rub that is sure to come.

CC is so easily manipulated by the felines. And they know it.

They have to work a little harder to get me to do their bidding. Although Maizy knows if she sits in the kitchen window and looks at me with big, sad, eyes it won’t take long for her to get what she wants.

Maybe I need to take a few lessons from the cats to use on CC…

She Who Has Crazy Cats

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Under normal circumstances, the two cats who rule the roost at our house don’t get along.

As in they smack each other every chance they get.

As in they don’t know the meaning of playing well with each other.

As in… they fight like cats and dogs minus the dogs.

After The Heinous Cat came home from his 12-day vacation (accidentally locked in the neighbor’s storage shed and none of us could find him), he and The Interloper seem to be getting along better. Mostly.

We’re having a humungous project done in our back yard right now which is disturbing to both cats and humans. While it has put this human on edge, it seems to have brought the two felines together in their combined efforts to not be killed or eaten by all the foreign monsters invading their space.

The Heinous Cat has not had any problem maintaining his aloof, disinterested act. Except I’m not sure it is an act. He’s got a bit of an ego thing going on, too.

“No autographs, please. My people will get with your people. Goodbye.”

The Interloper is much more friendly and loving, if not somewhat bizarre.

“Do you see me, Mama? I’m right here! See me! Hello! Pretty kitty here!”

When Maizy (The Interloper) leaned over close to Drooley (The Heinous Cat), past history has shown this is the point where he will raise his paw and slap her silly.

Only this time…

This time…

They kitty-kissed. It was completely out of character and so sweet.

Maybe I need to have my back yard demolished more often if it will make these two get along.

She Who Has Melted in a Puddle

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Just a few weeks ago, The Heinous Cat disappeared. I wrote about him coming home, much to our everlasting relief after being on the lam for 12 days.

Due to some very disturbing activity in our backyard the past few days, we’ve been wondering just exactly where he went and what he did while he was gone.

In just the past two days we have counted six, that’s right, SIX,  stray cats trying to make themselves at home. At first we thought we were seeing things, but nope, a head count revealed six extra cats. All big and way too friendly to be wild.

With The Heinous Cat and Miss Maizy, we really don’t want any more cats around, but the drop-in guests have been a bit reluctant to leave.

We are wavering between two theories.

1. The Heinous Cat was tired of only having Miss Maizy to swat at and be mean to so he went on a crusade to recruit some new blood. He told them it was a real happening party at his house, offering up incentives to get them to come. Unfortunately, his new recruits could all slap him into next Thursday without even blinking.

2. The Heinous Cat got lost and at every house he came to he told the resident cat about how much he missed his home and his Mama and his Captain Cavedweller. He cried about how they took such good care of him and he just wanted to find his way back home. It got the cats he talked to thinking about checking out some digs where all they are expected to do is eat, sleep and occasionally wander over for a nice back rub or head pet and they decided to come check it out.

3. Someone had way too many cats and decided to drive out in the country and dump them and they somehow ended up at our house.

Yeah, I’m going with theory number one myself.

Anyone need six stray cats?

She Who Doesn’t Like Felines Enough to Need Eight of Them

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I know I promised Valentine-themed posts all week, so I hope you’ll pardon this interruption…  but our kitty came home!

The Heinous Cat went missing twelve days ago. As in nowhere to be found. As in gone. As in two heart-broken adults who missed his fuzzy little being quite dreadfully.

Yesterday, my neighbor let me know that her daughter thought she saw the cat in the “nature area” behind her school. On our way home from work, Captain Cavedweller and I went to the school and stomped around in the dark looking for the cat for a good thirty minutes. It was freezing outside, which would be why when I said “we” I mean “he,” while I sat in the car and kept watch.

Disappointed when no cat turned up, we went home. Moping, Captain Cavedweller opened the back door to feed Miss Maizy, the cat who lives at our house part time, and there sat The Heinous Cat. We were beyond thrilled. I’d even go so far to say Captain Cavedweller looked like a kid who just got the best Christmas present ever.

The Heinous Cat was skinny and filthy, but not too much the worse for wear for his wild adventures. His Mama would really like to know where he has been for nearly two weeks, but the stubborn little feline isn’t talking.

We’d also love to know how he got home. I’ve yet to connect with our neighbor to see if we are forever in their debt.

However it happened, we are just really glad the cat is back home. He has been grounded, scolded, petted, cuddled and told he can never go off wandering again. We hope this time he’ll listen.

She Who Is Glad to Have the Cat Back

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Apparently, the garage door need only be open for 4.78 seconds for The Heinous Cat to sneak inside unnoticed.

He is up to his dark and underhanded tricks again.

Last Saturday, I was bustling around getting some thing done outside that sorely needed attention and was in and out of the garage as well as our storage shed.

After going back in the house and  finding 38 more things that needed done all at once, I finally ran back out to the garage for something and there sat The Heinous Cat on top of a new bag of cat food, claws sunk in like he was going to rip that bag to shreds if someone didn’t get it open for him soon.

Once I got past the surprise of finding him in the garage and on top of the bag of food, it registered that he was sitting there lecturing me.

“Hey, You, come open this thing for me. What’s it take to get some food around this place anyway? I should turn you in for neglect. Are you listening to me? Let’s move it. Hungry cat. Come on. Open, open.”

I point out that there is a bowl of food waiting for him out back as well as cat food in a dish right there in the garage.

“It’s a little stale. I want the fresh stuff. Could you hurry it up?”

Yeah, those are the types of conversations the cat has with me. He also throws in lines like, “That big guy you let stay in the house with you. Yeah, he forget to feed me this morning. What’s up with that, anyway?”

The cat lies. A lot.

Captain Cavedweller feeds the obnoxious cat before he feeds himself breakfast. It’s part of their routine. Cat gets fed then human.

The Heinous Cat – he thinks he suffers so.

Anyone want a cat with a bad attitude and no courage?

She Who Has Learned to Tolerate the Cat

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Drooley, aka The Heinous Cat,  has been off adventuring again.

Only instead of coming home with pieces of his ear missing as he usually does, he came home limping.

The good news is, nothing is broken. The bad news is that whatever he did has caused him to go temporarily insane. Even worse than usual.

I’m telling you the little fuzzy dude has been nibbling loco weed.

Drooley has several places he likes to laze around our yard. Behind the lilac bush, in the chair by the front door and sprawled across my petunias are three of his favorites.

Since he came home injured, he has taken to hiding in the most obscure places, like burrowing into my lamb’s ear bushes, crawling under a pallet and climbing on top of the patio table. All that activity is strange, to say the very least. But the thing that has let me know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has lost his marbles is the fact that he let Miss Maizy, aka The Interloper, get close to him and rub her head on him. A previously unheard of event that normally ends with him swatting her so hard she either falls over and runs away.

I’ve said it before and I know I’ll say it again, but this cat is just one odd little duck.

She Who Will Never Understand This Cat

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