Savvy Entertaining

While many people are posting a list of the top 10 best gifts to give this Christmas, I decided to head in the opposite direction.

Having been the recipient of or witness to some truly odd  gifts, here is my top 10 list of things you should never, ever give someone. Please.

10. Gift Cards. I love getting gift cards. Really I do. But when you are giving gift cards, make sure it is to someplace the recipient will have access to. We’ve received more than one gift card to places we’ve never heard of let alone been able to go to because the only location is across the country. When choosing gift cards, think about places the recipient likes to frequent or you know is in their area, or has online ordering. If in doubt, send a generic gift card like a Visa, which is accepted just about anywhere.

9. Popcorn Tins. Please do not give these as a gift. I beg of you. Unless it is a gag gift and then it better have something good to go along with it. I can’t tell you how many times certain members of our family have given a dented popcorn tin as a gift. The popcorn isn’t that good and no one wants 38 huge tins taking up storage space in their home.

8. Gag Gifts. If you are giving a gag gift, make sure the recipient has the personality to handle it. I remember a family member once received one of those oversized Hershey’s kisses at a gift exchange. It was a completely inappropriate gift compared to what everyone else brought to the exchange. The person who ended up with it was so irritated, she threw it in the fireplace when she got home. Her husband dug it out, spread tales about the candy and for years afterward, she received a multitude of them as gifts. (No, it was not me! Thanks for asking.)

7. Clean out your Cupboards Gifts. For a few years my family was big into drawing names to exchange gifts. It was not the most fun I’ve ever had. One year, the person who drew my name gave me a half-bag of marshmallows, two individual packets of hot chocolate mix and a used mug. Yeah, that was a fun year. Just to make it clear – they were not strapped  for cash, just strapped for common sense. Please do not clean out your cupboards and bundle the assorted mess as a gift. It’s just not right. If you are tight on funds, make something! There are oodles of things you can make on a very limited budget.

6. Personal Care Products. If you are participating in a gift exchange, I’m pleading with you… do not give personal care products as gifts. No matter how good the intentions, it will probably be taken as an insult.  During one of our now-famous family name draw exchanges, the person who got my name gave me a bottle of Frizz Ease Hair Serum. I was literally shocked beyond words. Was my hair that big of a frizz ball? Possibly, but that is beside the point (and it was  the 80s for goodness sakes, everyone had big frizzy hair!).  But you sure don’t want it pointed out on a major holiday in front of all your relatives.

5. Gifts for a Pet. It was another year of our fabulous family draw-a-name exchange-a-gift trauma when I received a 20-pound bag of dog food as my gift. I was in high school at the time. I think we had two dogs, one that I claimed, the other belonged to my sister. My parents kept both the dogs and us well fed. I’m sure the dog appreciated the gift in his own canine way. Me, not so much.

4. Gifts that don’t “fit” the Recipient. When I was 16, the only thing I wanted for Christmas was a rhinestone necklace. I spied it  early in the  fall at one of the department stores in the “big city” and begged and pleaded for it. I knew the price, the bar code, the salesperson to speak with and the fact that it could be gift-wrapped for free. I dreamed about waking up Christmas morning to a beautiful little box under the tree with my wonderful necklace inside. Instead, I got a soccer ball. I loathed that ball. Absolutely hated it! I don’t think it ever came out of the original box and sat on the top of my closet shelf gathering dust for years. I had never played soccer, watched soccer or expressed an interest in soccer. By this time in my life, I was starting to morph into a girlie-girl. As should have been evident by my unrelenting quest for the necklace!

3.  Inappropriate Gifts. I won’t say who gave the gift to whom, but Hubby and I were witness to a gift exchange debacle one snowy Christmas Eve. Two of his family members received the most ridiculous t-shirts ever. One said “Hog Heaven” and the other was “Too Hot to Handle.” After much screeching and complaining, the shirts were tossed aside and never seen again. If they could have been returned that night, I don’t think it would have been too soon for the recipients.

2. Clearance Gifts. Twice I have been the recipient of articles of clothing that were purchased not because they were

• my size

• something I would like

• even remotely close to anything I would wear.

They were purchased because they were on sale and the giver decided I would be the lucky recipient. The first time, it was a pair of double-knit black pants with an elastic waist. That should be a crime in itself. But the pants were petite and I am almost 5’9″. Even if I would have worn them (which would only have happened if there was absolutely not another speck of cloth to be found on the entire planet) they looked like knickers. Who wears double-knit knickers? The other piece of clothing was the ugliest blouse I’ve ever seen. Thank goodness it was three sizes too small. The best part was when I returned it to the store. It still had the barcode on it so when they rang it up to give me a refund, I received a whopping 83 cents. I thought I would die. It wasn’t even enough to buy a pack of gum! Who gives gifts like that? I mean, seriously?

1. Nothing. That’s right. Nothing. Back to our wonderful family name draw gift exchange. One year the person who drew my name forgot about it. So when we were thick into the gift exchange, it became apparent that I was not getting a gift. The guilty party finally fessed up that they assumed their Mom would take care of it and kind of forget about it. Don’t make assumptions when it comes to gifts. If you agree to participate in a gift exchange, participate for goodness sakes. It is no fun for anyone to sit without a gift while everyone else has one (unless of course the gift is dog food or a half-bag of marshmallows!).

However and whatever you give this season, give from your heart and you can’t go wrong!

Happy Holiday Entertaining,

The Recipient of Many Odd Gifts